Jan 07 2009
Coping
Depression has probably been with me for longer than I care to know. Thinking back, it most likely started after my parents divorced. In 4th grade, I began having problems in school, losing weight(what I wouldn’t give now) and having make believe friends. Not like Sally or Amy, but mostly I would imagine that a famous guy was my real dad. For awhile I remember it was one of the guys on Dukes of Hazard~not the character, but either John Schneider or Tom Wopat?? They were both in my fantasies~one as the dad and the other as an uncle-type. I would walk home from school, telling them about my day. All in my head, not talking out loud, at least I hope! Back then I didn’t know it was weird or a coping mechanism, but it did bring comfort.
The truth is I never had a great dad. He wasn’t the kind you could depend on or that provided for his family. He wasn’t a hard worker or talented. He was more like a fifth kid for my mom. I don’t recall anything specific, but I know we often felt embarassed by him. But, at that point in my life, any father was better than no father, so since he was gone, I just used my imagination! It wouldn’t be very many years until I found out that my real father was even worse than I thought~but, that’s another blog. See ya soon!
